Trump Is A Fucking Idiot
My
cousin Bart, who is otherwise a wonderful guy to have as a cousin, is
apparently going to vote for tRump. I’m going to be like Mythological
Jesus here and ask that he be forgiven, for he knows not what he does,
but I have to – maybe for the last time – explain some real shit here.
Donald Trump is the least qualified and most reckless, dangerous
candidate of all time. You hear me? There’s never been a worse choice
for president. Ever. Millard Fillmore finally rests in peace. James
Garfield and William Henry Harrison and even Andrew Johnson may also, in
death, finally be sighing with relief.
Among the many reasons tRump is a giant goddamned tool: he knows shinola about foreign relations, seeing nearly every effort at common defense as transactional in nature. This may be for one of two reasons. First, he’s a businessman and his god is money. Second, he’s a fucking idiot. We don’t offer protection and the use of our military to other countries because we’re simply the nicest guys ever; there is always a benefit to the United States. Always. And the benefits must outweigh the risks. This explains why we’re in NATO, why we have military installations in Japan and Germany, and why we don’t ask those countries/organizations to pay us what we’re worth. tRump sees this as financial in nature. He’s wrong. Also, and I think I mentioned this before, he’s a fucking idiot.
He is also the most self-absorbed, thin-skinned pussboy we’ve ever seen on the national stage. Every slight, real or imagined, results in a late-night Twitter storm, often boiled down to “No, I’m not – YOU are.” This is acceptable for 12 year old girls and/or 18 year old boys, but in no way can be considered adult behaviour. He likes to talk about what a tough guy he truly is, but was all butthurt when Meghan Kelly asked him a hard question and thinks Saturday Night Live should be pulled from the air because they made fun of him. Can you imagine him, really, in tough talks with Netanyahu or, god forbid, Putin? “He’s looking at me! Make him stop looking at me!” So not only is he a fucking idiot, which I mentioned earlier, but he’s also a big, fat crybaby pussy.
There is a familiar pattern now. It is this: each and every day, tRump says or does something that is simply unfathomable. His supporters don’t seem to give a flying fuck what it is, and he’s testing them in interesting ways. Remember, he actually jump-started his “political career” by promoting the lunatic theory that Barack Obama was not born in America. And if you believed that deranged shit for even one second, get off my Facebook page and get back to your White Supremacist buddies. (Seriously. Go. Now.) This week, it’s his obvious penchant for sexually predatory behaviour. His surrogates are required to assume pretzel shapes in their attempts to explain away what he said with his own fellatio-shaped mouth. I can only hope the pay is outstanding. Perhaps down the road they can purchase new self-esteem. Perhaps not. But that’s okay; tRump has a total disregard for history, often denying what he said maybe five minutes before. He’s a fucking idiot and he thinks you must be, too.
He’s a businessman! He knows the bottom line! I hear this constantly. Folks, he’s a parasite. As Matt Yglesias writes: “Across these ventures, Trump has mastered essentially a single skill — structuring deals to be financially beneficial to him personally regardless of whether the underlying business is successful. Rather than creating wealth for his business partners, Trump took advantage of investors who believed in him in order to benefit himself personally — just as he did years later with students at Trump University.”
Possibly the worst thing he’s done is help foster the belief, now that he’s losing, that the entire system is rigged against him. Question: if the system is rigged for him to lose, how the fuck did he defeat so many other candidates in the Republican primary? It’s nonsensical. But worse, he’s convinced his trailer park followers that the elections are broken. Stand by, true patriots. There’s going to be violence when he loses. For the longest time, we – the people with functioning brain stems – considered him a joke, but now he’s doing real damage to the country without ever being in any elected office. To call him ‘dangerous’ is like suggesting the surface of the sun is ‘toasty’. It’s true, but somehow doesn’t convey the magnitude of the situation.
As I told Bart his morning, if we were to learn that Hillary Clinton had assassinated JFK, broken up the Beatles, and was solely responsible for the Black Death, she’s still a better choice for President. Because he’s 100% unqualified. So make up your own disasters for which Hillary Clinton is responsible. The Titanic, both World Wars, Nickelback, the Hindenburg, Hurricane Katrina, the post-Aikman Dallas Cowboys, pick one or pick a handful, it turns out the same. tRump is the least qualified and most dangerous candidate in the history of the fucking UNIVERSE, and nothing you think Clinton has done will make him more qualified. He is a political cockroach and should be dealt with accordingly.
Here endeth the rant. All praise the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Among the many reasons tRump is a giant goddamned tool: he knows shinola about foreign relations, seeing nearly every effort at common defense as transactional in nature. This may be for one of two reasons. First, he’s a businessman and his god is money. Second, he’s a fucking idiot. We don’t offer protection and the use of our military to other countries because we’re simply the nicest guys ever; there is always a benefit to the United States. Always. And the benefits must outweigh the risks. This explains why we’re in NATO, why we have military installations in Japan and Germany, and why we don’t ask those countries/organizations to pay us what we’re worth. tRump sees this as financial in nature. He’s wrong. Also, and I think I mentioned this before, he’s a fucking idiot.
He is also the most self-absorbed, thin-skinned pussboy we’ve ever seen on the national stage. Every slight, real or imagined, results in a late-night Twitter storm, often boiled down to “No, I’m not – YOU are.” This is acceptable for 12 year old girls and/or 18 year old boys, but in no way can be considered adult behaviour. He likes to talk about what a tough guy he truly is, but was all butthurt when Meghan Kelly asked him a hard question and thinks Saturday Night Live should be pulled from the air because they made fun of him. Can you imagine him, really, in tough talks with Netanyahu or, god forbid, Putin? “He’s looking at me! Make him stop looking at me!” So not only is he a fucking idiot, which I mentioned earlier, but he’s also a big, fat crybaby pussy.
There is a familiar pattern now. It is this: each and every day, tRump says or does something that is simply unfathomable. His supporters don’t seem to give a flying fuck what it is, and he’s testing them in interesting ways. Remember, he actually jump-started his “political career” by promoting the lunatic theory that Barack Obama was not born in America. And if you believed that deranged shit for even one second, get off my Facebook page and get back to your White Supremacist buddies. (Seriously. Go. Now.) This week, it’s his obvious penchant for sexually predatory behaviour. His surrogates are required to assume pretzel shapes in their attempts to explain away what he said with his own fellatio-shaped mouth. I can only hope the pay is outstanding. Perhaps down the road they can purchase new self-esteem. Perhaps not. But that’s okay; tRump has a total disregard for history, often denying what he said maybe five minutes before. He’s a fucking idiot and he thinks you must be, too.
He’s a businessman! He knows the bottom line! I hear this constantly. Folks, he’s a parasite. As Matt Yglesias writes: “Across these ventures, Trump has mastered essentially a single skill — structuring deals to be financially beneficial to him personally regardless of whether the underlying business is successful. Rather than creating wealth for his business partners, Trump took advantage of investors who believed in him in order to benefit himself personally — just as he did years later with students at Trump University.”
Possibly the worst thing he’s done is help foster the belief, now that he’s losing, that the entire system is rigged against him. Question: if the system is rigged for him to lose, how the fuck did he defeat so many other candidates in the Republican primary? It’s nonsensical. But worse, he’s convinced his trailer park followers that the elections are broken. Stand by, true patriots. There’s going to be violence when he loses. For the longest time, we – the people with functioning brain stems – considered him a joke, but now he’s doing real damage to the country without ever being in any elected office. To call him ‘dangerous’ is like suggesting the surface of the sun is ‘toasty’. It’s true, but somehow doesn’t convey the magnitude of the situation.
As I told Bart his morning, if we were to learn that Hillary Clinton had assassinated JFK, broken up the Beatles, and was solely responsible for the Black Death, she’s still a better choice for President. Because he’s 100% unqualified. So make up your own disasters for which Hillary Clinton is responsible. The Titanic, both World Wars, Nickelback, the Hindenburg, Hurricane Katrina, the post-Aikman Dallas Cowboys, pick one or pick a handful, it turns out the same. tRump is the least qualified and most dangerous candidate in the history of the fucking UNIVERSE, and nothing you think Clinton has done will make him more qualified. He is a political cockroach and should be dealt with accordingly.
Here endeth the rant. All praise the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
posted by bovinehost @ 12:25 PM
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