Seditionists and Slobbering Jethros

Conspiracy theories:  not a fan.  Lee Harvey Oswald killed JFK.  9/11 was not an inside job.  And so on.  For decades, I worked for the most secretive organization on the planet.  For a while, we were very good at keeping secrets – it was part of the job description – but everything eventually leaked. 

Everything. 

The common logic is that conspiracies are sneaky, quiet, closely held.  The belief in these nutty ideas let stupid people feel smart.  They know something you don’t.  This is a large part of why conspiracy theories are so popular with the Slobbering Jethros. 

Anyway, what if the conspiracy is not sneaky or quiet or closely held?  What if it’s happening in your face, on television, in all the media outlets?  Because that’s where we are right now, folks.  The Big Lie.  The election was stolen.  Any election that did not favor Donald Trump had to be rigged!  He told us that in absolute daylight.  He could not lose. If he did lose, there was illegal stuff going on!  He set the groundwork for that long before the election.  The Slobbering Jethros knew it was true because Orange Jesus Bumblecunt told them so.

Trump is the rotting head of the current Republican party.  The problem started with him, of course, we all know that, but now there is a seditious conspiracy at work amongst the Batshit Crazy Wing of the Republican party.  Hang the fact that numerous courts, some presided over by Trump appointees, have rejected the idea that there was widespread voter fraud.  It’s very simple when you think about it.  There was negligible voter tomfoolery.  No proof or evidence was ever proffered, just the batshit crazy ideas fomented by Guiliani et al.  None were reality-based. 

There have been consequences.  They are ongoing.  There is sedition afoot, my fellow citizens.

One consequence is Republican-led voter suppression.  They lost and they know it, so perhaps they should come up with better ideas, right?  That’s what a normal non-seditionist party would do.  “The voters rejected our platform.  Let’s re-think this and see if we can do better.”  Eh, nope, not the modern Seditionist Republicans.  No sir.  Their solution was to make it harder for citizens to vote.  And to replace the vote counters with party hacks.   Does that seem American?  Not to me.  They lost a fair and open election (ignoring that some of them actually won on the same ballots) so they want to change the system, not themselves.  Who’s blocking the John Lewis Voting Rights Act? 

You get one guess.

Don’t kid yourself.  There was a plot to subvert democracy on 6 January.  The Batshit Crazy Wing was perfectly happy to cancel your vote and appoint a king.  By decree, not by votes.  Does that seem American?  It was obvious what they were up to and it’s even more obvious now.  Reject the will of the American people!  Fuck a bunch of votes!  To hell with the very basis of our democracy!  In fact, there was no peaceful transfer of power.  Remember that?  Does that seem American? 

We quibble about whether or not Mark Meadows should be held in contempt.  Steve Bannon screams that he is taking the fight to the Democrats.  That asshole Jeffrey Clark from DoJ is still not having his feet held to the fire.  And then there’s the Batshit Crazy Co-conspirators, Jim Jordan, Kevin McCarthy, Lauren Boebert, you know who they are.  They are seditionists, the lot of them, and we’re all waving our hands and being nice about contempt of congress?  FUCK THAT.  They should be arrested and charged with sedition.  Every. Single. One. 

I’m not a lawyer (nor do I play one on TV) but common sense and my oath to the Constitution of the United States of America informs my beliefs.  I know you legal types will want to tell me how wrong I am, but here’s the thing: I’m not.  If you plot to overthrow the government, if you incite a mob to attack the Capitol in order to prevent a free and fair election from being certified, you are guilty as fuck of sedition.   So don’t tell me I’m wrong. 

I’m mad as hell.  You know the rest.  Stay angry, stay motivated, and for God’s sake, VOTE.  Vote like your nation depends on it.  Your democracy.  Because there are those who would gleefully take it from us.